So … you went on a few really great dates and had a great connection. You were messaging every day, saying good morning and goodnight. You were starting to get really excited about this one.
And suddenly, just like that, they went radio silent.
You waited a few days but then you couldn’t take it any more so you texted to ask them where they've been and if they're still interested.
Their reply crushed you.
They said they're just too busy with work right now, or that they're not really feeling it with you anymore, or that they're getting back together with their ex.
The familiar waves of disappointment come crashing in as you wonder, how did another great one get away?
What did I do wrong? Did I say the wrong thing? Did I act too interested? Am I just not that attractive??
It's a Common Dating Issue
If you’ve gone through this, you’re not alone.
Every day, I see women and men online asking for dating advice about this exact same experience.
You might be surprised to know that nearly everyone deals with this to some degree, but the ones who wind up in an amazing relationship are doing something fundamentally different than the ones who get caught in a repeating cycle.
They’re taking certain steps that make all the difference …
5 Key Steps to Healthy Lasting Love
Here are the 5 key steps to take if you find yourself rejected by a potential partner and you want to be chosen instead:
1. Let them go.
If they rejected you, they weren’t your partner. This can be such a tough pill to swallow because we want to believe that every person we choose should choose us back. We assume they just aren’t thinking straight and will come to their senses if we keep trying to be who they want, or worse, we believe something is wrong with us. Neither one is true. The truth is that your right partner will choose you, over and over again. They might have a healthy moment of doubt from time to time, but they're not going to ghost you, break up with you out of the blue, or feed you excuses.
2. Get help letting them go.
Every fiber of your being is going to want to prove that you're worthy by getting this person to change their mind. You’re going to want to text them “just to see how they are” or drive by their house “just in case they're home.” It will feel good for a second, and then it will feel absolutely horrible, and ultimately damaging to your sense of worthiness when they don't respond in a loving way. So many love coaches will tell you to just stop contacting them, but the truth is, it’s not easy when you have a deep pattern of feeling “not enough” or getting hit particularly hard by rejection. What you need is expert level support holding you accountable to letting them go and reminding you why you’re letting them go whenever you get tempted.
3. Heal the underlying pattern that has you attract people who disappear.
There’s a reason this keeps happening, and while it’s not your fault (!!), you have the power to rewire your reality so that you attract a healthy, lasting partnership. The key is to identify the deepest roots of this pattern and shift it so that you are no longer interested in chasing a person who isn’t 100% into you. If you get the right support with this, you can heal and get into the best relationship of your life in as little as a few months (I’ve even had clients do it in just a few weeks … anything is possible!)
4. Learn how to identify an available partner who wants to commit long term.
This is super tricky because people (especially those with an avoidant attachment style) can present as very interested and into you right from the beginning, and then do a total 180, ending things or pulling away, seemingly out of nowhere. Or, they may literally tell you how unavailable they are from Day 1, but their vulnerability is so disarming that you believe you can change them. You need to learn to look for the subtle cues they present, but more importantly, you need to recognize the revealing cues within your feelings. Find an expert who can help you become a pro at spotting Ms./Mr. Unavailable — and Ms./Mr. Available!
5. Cultivate trust and courage to say NO to the wrong people — until you find the RIGHT person for you.
This sounds so simple but it can be the hardest part for so many of us, especially when a partner seems so great, and you don’t know when another one will come along who is as awesome as they are — yet they aren't choosing you or don’t meet your basic requirements for a partner. The problem is that if you're spending all your energy dating the wrong person, you won’t have any left over to find the right one. The sooner you let the wrong person go, the faster you’ll find the right one. You absolutely need someone to lovingly hold your feet to the fire and to reflect to you when you’ve strayed off course from what you said you truly want in a relationship, and to support you in releasing anyone who isn’t your match.
I want to give you the expert support you need to put these 5 steps into action.
All you need to do to get started is to dedicate less than an hour to participate in my Masterclass and to take a deep look at what's stopping you from following these 5 steps you need to take in order to heal, move forward, and find a healthy, happy relationship.
This Masterclass is for you if you're ready to finally say NO to people who don't choose you as a long term partner… NO to people who don't reflect your awesomeness back to you … NO to wishy-washy, hot-and-cold, drive-you-crazy people who drain your energy … and YES to a real relationship.
You can do this! Click below to get started now.