One of the common themes I’ve been hearing lately is how many women don't know how to ask men for what they really want in their relationships.
Perhaps you can relate to having an underlying belief that asking a man for more attention, more love, or more presence will push him away, and that it’s yours as the woman’s job to change yourself into someone who doesn’t need these things, in order to “fix” or “keep” the relationship.
Many women find themselves walking on eggshells around the men they date, and not expressing their true feelings, in order to avoid any difficult conversations or conflicts.
The problem with this strategy is that the yearning to have a real, intimate relationship builds up, along with resentment towards the man. If this fits for you, as time goes by you may end up exploding, criticizing, and pushing a man away, unintentionally creating the exact heartbreaking scenario you were trying to prevent. This is why it's important to learn about
Asking for your needs in your relationship
The strategy of staying silent was likely learned early on in life. As a child, you may have been shown that your needs don’t matter, or that it isn’t safe to ask for what you need, and you trained yourself to keep quiet and settle for whatever version of love that you got.
The only way out is to learn to go against this pattern and ask men directly for what you need.
This is one of the big things that Maya teaches in her program. It can be so tricky to do this right, but her specific method of identifying and expressing your desires helps you create a healthy, happy relationship with the right partner – one who is actually responsive to your needs. (Because… believe it or not, that's what an available man will do!)
Learning to identify and express your needs makes a healthy, happy relationship possible.
Let me tell you about a recent graduate from our program…
Within the first two weeks of beginning our program she met a secure, available man. He offered to pick her up (even when it meant driving across town to get her), to make dinner for her at the end of a long day, and whenever she made a request of him (like to text her after he got home), he was happy to comply. It was incredibly challenging for her at first to speak up about what she needed from him in order to ease her anxious tendencies in their relationship.
With a little practice, and more reassurance from him, she realized that contrary to her beliefs, he WANTED to meet her needs. She needed to rewire some of her internal dialogue. Every time he met one of her needs, she began to believe she was worthy of having a man who wanted to know her preferences and meet her requests.
All it takes for you to get started on the same path is one (complimentary) phone call and a willingness to commit to shifting the unproductive patterns in your love life.
If you're intrigued to learn more and want to take a first step towards having a love life that you're thrilled about, go here to watch the free video masterclass where we discuss the 5 main shifts that you need to make in order to have a healthy, lasting relationship.
You can do this! I have faith in you, and I know firsthand that something SO much better can happen faster than you ever dreamed possible.