Until we heal, we accept what is familiar, instead of actively seeking what we deserve.
For so long I accepted what was familiar to me:
- Inconsistent love
- Men with addictions
- Men who didn’t chose me
- Men who didn’t prioritize me
- Men who couldn’t keep their word
- Men who I couldn’t trust
- Men who were financially insecure
Why would I accept these qualities in my one wild and precious life?
Because … guess what?
My dad had all of those qualities.
Even though I only lived with my dad the first 8 months of my life, his imprint, both biologically and psychically, had a powerful effect on me.
And the way he treated me as his daughter had an equally powerful effect on me:
- I never felt safe with him.
- I didn’t feel he was trustworthy.
- I couldn’t rely on him.
- He didn’t support the family financially.
- He was high on weed a lot of the time.
Again, we accept what is familiar, NOT what we deserve.
So this is why you might be in a relationship that isn’t bringing you joy, where your needs are not met, and where your partner is not at your level.
Because it is familiar. Not what you deserve.
Working on this pattern has shifted everything for me.
I will never stay with a partner who doesn’t meet my needs for love, commitment, consistency, emotional availability, quality time, and physical affection, ever again.
And this is what I help my clients do on the daily.
Just the other day I was talking to a smart, loving, successful woman who’s been settling for a man who doesn’t prioritize her, doesn’t talk to her for days, and she feels like she is in a toxic cycle, yet she doesn’t want to leave.
Why doesn’t she want to leave? Because she is attached. And powerfully so, because he is familiar to her psyche. This is what she knows masculine love to be.
Ugh! So how do we shift what is familiar? How do we actually attract what we deserve?
This is my life’s mission.
To help you attract and maintain the love you deserve — to help you get out of the old familiar patterns so you can feel deeply met, so you can have a partner who enhances your life not depletes it!
Do you relate? Are you currently in one of these toxic cycles? What’s familiar “love” to you?
If you'd like my help with this, here's your first step:
Click the button below to check out the video I made for you that outlines the 5 Shifts to Stop Investing in Relationships with No Future and Find a Loving & Secure Partnership.
If you’re drawn to learn more after you’ve watched it, then you can click the link below the video and schedule a call with a member of my team to talk about next steps.
Because you deserve a great relationship, NOT just settling for what's familiar.