When I was younger and less wise, my choices in love were determined by the very things I now advise both women and men against.
For example, I would choose men based on how excited I felt in their presence.
In fact, the more excited I felt, both when I was with a man, and when I wasn’t in his presence, the more I thought it was a big indicator that I really liked him!
Ha! Little did I know, that because I have a combination of anxious and secure attachment, jittery excitement is actually a sign that I’m experiencing more of my anxious attachment.
This is nearly always an indicator that the person I’m dating has more of an avoidant attachment style, which is triggering my anxiety on a subconscious level.
I would then mistake the excitement/anxiety for love (they feel the same when that's pretty much all you've known) and get super attached to someone who couldn't commit or meet me emotionally.
The result? Disappointment over and over and over again.
Committed to healing my own attachment style
I learned through my research, professionally and personally, that feeling calm and attracted on a date is a MUCH better indicator of great relationship potential than excitement.
When I figured this out, everything changed, and I was able to get into much healthier relationships.
This is exactly the kind of thing I help my clients with, because it can be super confusing to figure out on your own.
In fact, this approach is the opposite of what popular media and society have taught us.
In the movies, the characters always choose the romantic interest who excites them most, and who drives them most wild, no matter how healthy or available the person is.
Hmmmm … So we follow the drama and chase the excitement.
And we all think that’s normal and healthy?
Committing to change your own love life
But ask yourself this: “In my own life, has choosing partners based on excitement brought me a lot of drama, but not a lot of healthy lasting love?”
If you answered yes, I want to help you start making different choices so you can get into an amazing relationship.
Your first step is to check out the Masterclass below. In this class, you’ll get crystal clear on exactly how this engrained pattern has been running your love life, and clarity on the steps you need to take to start to turn it around.
If you want more after that, we can map out a plan for you to heal and get into the most nourishing relationship of your life.
Because you deserve true fulfillment, not just fleeting excitement.