There are a lot of obvious reasons to avoid dating someone who’s chronically “unavailable” or “avoidant.”
- You want commitment
- You want to spend more time together
- You want to have a deeper connection, etc.
… and you can't seem to get these things with them.
But here are some not-so-obvious reasons that many people forget about …
- For starters, you never feel like you are enough for them.
You think maybe if you were more fit, smarter, more successful, sexier, more open-minded, more spiritual, less spiritual, less sensitive, less emotional, less “needy,” they’d choose you fully.
Though, when you manage to do all of those things, they still manage to find a reason why they can’t choose you.
- Next, you feel constantly anxious and worried about where you stand with them.
You spend so much time checking your phone to see if they texted, talking to friends about the details of your last conversation so you can dissect and understand their underlying motivations, thinking about them and wondering what will happen next. But you’re never able to relax into the security of knowing you’re safe.
- Third, you feel like you can’t live without them.
Even though they’re barely showing up for you, it feels like you’re going to die if you let them go, so you hang on for dear life. You’re addicted to them and no amount of bad behavior can convince you to walk away.
Does any of this sound familiar?
Dating an Avoidant is Painful
Dating a person with avoidant attachment (aka an “unavailable”) can be incredibly painful and damaging to your self-esteem. And yet, so many people find it SO challenging to leave these relationships. They just keep holding out and hoping it will get better … waiting for the other person to change or come to their senses.
Now, what most people don’t realize is how great you can feel with someone else. They don’t realize that if you meet the right partner, with a compatible attachment style, you can feel “enough,” totally lovable, acceptable and chosen — just as you are.
That’s why I’ve dedicated my career to helping women and men understand how to identify a potential partner’s attachment style early on, so they never have to get into this brutal dynamic ever again.
And that’s why I help people heal the internal map that has them feel magnetically attracted to unavailable partners in the first place.
How to Begin Changing Your Attachment Style
So, if you’re ready to make space for an awesome, available partner to enter your life, here’s what I’ve got for you:
I recorded a video for you, where we’ll dive into how to understand your own attachment style and the 5 Core Shifts it takes to rewire and heal it.
If you’re serious about transforming your love life so that you can have the relationship you've always wanted, then here’s your chance to do something about it!
If you're truly committed to transforming your love life (this year!) and you’re willing to do whatever it takes to turn it around, then join the Masterclass. If you love what you learn there, then you can book some time to talk with one of our amazing coaches to chart out a path for you to finally get what you want and deserve. What are you waiting for??
I can’t wait to help you have a huge breakthrough in your love life!