If you've spent years in therapy — or if you're a therapist yourself — and your love life still doesn't look the way you'd like it to, this message is for you.
While I value therapy and believe it's an effective tool (I WAS a licensed MFT), there are 3 main reasons why coaching is more effective in helping you to you rewire the underlying pattern that keeps you choosing unavailable partners.
1) This pattern is just like an addiction
If you find yourself constantly drawn to date people who are hot and cold, can't commit, or ghost you, this means that you are wired to keep doing the same thing until you address the root of the problem.
This is very similar to an addiction, where intellectually you know you want to stop dating these people, but you can't seem to do it in practice.
Either you simply can't resist their charming, seductive ways, or they appear available at first and then turn out to be unavailable, because your “picker” is off. Some deeper part of you is gravitating toward Mr./Ms. Wrong.
Most therapists are not trained in this specific pattern of addiction, which means that they can't help you the way an expert coach can.
You need someone who will hold your feet to the fire so that you know exactly what to do when your unavailable potential partner texts you for a drunken midnight booty call, or when you're feeling hopeless that you'll ever find true love and get tempted to fall back into old patterns.
This is one reason why a lot of therapists choose to work with me themselves. They know they need specialized help with this issue that therapy can't deliver.
2) Therapy does not provide expert dating advice
Therapists don't generally give any advice, let alone dating advice, because that's not what therapy is for.
However, if you have any form of insecure attachment, you will need advice to find your true partner:
>>> You'll need someone who can help you determine if a potential partner is available or not, before you go out with them a few times and get hooked — before they show their true colors and break your heart.
>>> You'll need someone to save you hours of frustration by showing you exactly which dating sites to use, how to write your dating profile, what photos to share, and how to send messages that get you out on dates (with the right people!)
>>> You'll need someone who has years of experience helping hundreds of women and men find long term love — who knows precisely what you need to do to get that result for yourself.
>>> You need a highly qualified dating coach like me, because therapists don't do these things.
3) Therapy takes too long
When you're in therapy, you typically only have access to your therapist during your weekly session (which lasts less than an hour.) In between, you're mostly on your own.
When you work with a dating coach like me, you can ask questions throughout the week, which is so valuable in those moments when you're feeling down and need encouragement from someone who truly understands what you're going through.
It takes a lot of support to break a lifelong pattern and replace it with a new one, and if you rely on therapy alone, it could take years — even decades — to make good progress (if you make any).
Why drag it out? If you work with the right coach, you can solve this problem in a matter of weeks, not years.
My client, Janette, said this just the other day:
“This program is hands down THE BEST thing I have ever done for myself. I feel like I have healed more from this program than years and years of therapy and I will be forever grateful.“
If you're committed to making a change NOW, and you want to do it the best way possible, I invite you to join my Masterclass where you’ll discover the blocks that are preventing you from finding your your partner and learn the shifts you need to make in order to create an amazing relationship.
Grab your seat now in the Masterclass now, and let's start calling in your partner!
Love,
Maya
Expert Dating & Relationship Coach
